What Now?
by Wyltk
Summary: Ms. Prongs and Ms. Padfoot bring you a crazy fic about Snape becoming a babysitter for Lily and James. The bad thing? It seems baby Harry is a chip of the old block and is determined to mess with poor old Snapey! JOINT AUTHOR!


Ms. Padfoot: Hello Ladies and Gents, I wanted to tell any of you who know better about 6 month olds that my excuse is magical babies are much faster developmentally then Muggle babies. Other then that enjoy. Oh! and check out "The Box" under "Ms. Prongs" another joint author fic! Now my co-writer *points impishly at Ms. Prongs* will be speaking to you.  
  
Ms. Prongs: *waves brightly* Hi!! ^_^ yes..I'm Ms. Prongs, the-other writer to this wonderfully funny excursion! Ok..so I have not much to say except, you'd better watch out cause we're JUST getting started, and though I have..well less than adequate artistic abilities (and yes padfoot I DO..) I'm going to draw a few scenes from the story.. heh heh.. fun hm? So, well that's about it, enough from the chatty one of the two..Enjoy the story! .. Oh Ps: if you didn't notice, this switches from Lily to Severus's Point of view..but sticks with Sev's pov towards the end lol. Just a note..so there Enjoy the story :P The genuine creator creates something that has a life of its own, something that can exist and function without him. This is true not only of the writer, artist and scientist, but of creators in other fields...With the noncreative it is the other way around: in whatever they do, they arrange things so that they themselves become indispensable.  
  
DISCLAIMER: We, as in both of us, do not own Harry Potter. We don't claim to owe him or anything of that sort. No suing.  
  
  
  
  
  
What Now Chapter 1/? By Ms. Prongs and Ms. Padfoot  
  
  
  
Lily's POV  
  
Something was different in the room, something - unnatural. What was  
  
it?  
  
Looking around I surveyed the room, typical baby walls, and the ceremonial Shaggy Dog stuffed animal that had been given to Harry when he was born by his godfather.  
  
  
  
*  
  
"He'll defiantly be one of us Lil, I can see it in his eyes. that  
  
evil little glint." I heard him say to me the day I brought him home  
  
from the hospital after our 3 week stint. (Premature by a month, had  
  
me scared to death.)  
  
"Actually, Si, I do believe he's just filled his diaper, and what  
  
you're seeing is a happy baby." I had said with a chuckle and he  
  
instantly handed him back over.  
  
*  
  
  
  
The crib was there, the other baby toys, the changing table...the  
  
Rocking chair. the toy broom that James just insisted his son have.  
  
So what was missing. oh no.  
  
Whipping around swiftly I about collided with a taller person who  
  
looked, to tell the truth out of place in this room.  
  
"Severus?!" I exclaimed in shock and stepped back. "What are you  
  
doing here? And how did you get in the house, and why didn't you  
  
knock?" I asked a tinge of anger in my voice.  
  
"I was unaware that bringing back a child who had crawled out of the  
  
house by a door that was-obviously left open by that dunderheaded  
  
husband of yours, or his other half, was a crime." he said smoothly  
  
holding out a baby's form who was looking rather mischievous for his  
  
6 months. "I walked in, and I did, but nobody answered so I took the  
  
liberty of coming in on my own." he paused. "Does that answer all of  
  
your questions?" his voice showing obvious annoyance.  
  
"I'm sorry." I muttered and took Harry from him, and he didn't waste any time relinquishing his hold. "Better question, why were you here in  
  
the first place? Last I checked you weren't that fond of the Potter  
  
residence." I added with a teasing tone of voice.  
  
"I came to bring the ingredients you asked me for a few days ago, for  
  
the 'unusual colic' that he seems to be having, and I have been here  
  
before incase you have forgotten." he replied slowly and pulled out a  
  
few vials of liquid.  
  
"Th.thank you, I had forgotten about that." I muttered and as I set  
  
Harry down in his crib I pushed an annoying piece of hair out of my  
  
eyes and took the vials from him. "Now you stay right here little  
  
man, I'll be right back." I found myself saying as if by instinct and  
  
followed Severus downstairs.  
  
Severus POV  
  
That boy is his father's incarnate. I swear that boy is going to be  
  
trouble. When is he going to be in school? Maybe it would be a good  
  
ideal to transfer to some other school.  
  
Glaring at the little boy I started down the stairs hearing Lily  
  
step lightly behind me I also heard a click which was unmistakably  
  
the crib's side falling down to allow a small boy to follow his  
  
mother.  
  
'I don't see why she even bothers with someone as dimwitted as that  
  
child and Potter.'  
  
I stopped at the end of the stairs stepping back and allowing Lily  
  
to go in the kitchen before me. She walked over immediately to the  
  
sink and placed the vials down carefully.  
  
"Make sure he eats before taking them." I said lowly. It would not  
  
be good to not feed him. The effects of the potions, one wouldn't  
  
work and two make him sick.  
  
Lily turned towards him and gave him a strange smile. "Sit down, have  
  
some tea."  
  
'Warning, warning. Lily Evans is giving you the "Potter" look. Run!"  
  
Snape glared at the Lily, standing like a dark avenger in the  
  
kitchen doorway. Finally unable to think of any excuse to get out of  
  
it he sat and she poured him tea.  
  
"Severus I need some help. You see I have a small problem and I  
  
think you're just the one to help me out."  
  
"I have a small problem and I think you're just the one to help me out." What kind of problem?  
  
"And what would this be?" I asked raising an eyebrow in obvious  
  
skepticism as I spotting her 'shadow' finally at the bottom of the  
  
stairwell.  
  
She looked like she was hesitant to ask this. 'Honestly, it's not as  
  
if she's asking me to help her with her potions homework for the  
  
first time.' I thought in mild amusement.  
  
Lily's POV  
  
Alright, just ask Lil, the worst he can do is say no.  
  
'Actually, the worst he can do is scoff in your face, than poison  
  
your tea and leave.' Yeah, that's comforting.  
  
"Severus, please I want you to consider this very carefully, see,  
  
Remus and Sirius--" I started noting the instant look of contempt  
  
enter his expression. "Well, they've decided that maybe they should  
  
sort of do something special for James and I, you know, as a sort of  
  
gift." I said as I nervously pushed that loose strand behind my ear  
  
feeling the heat rise up the back of my neck. "So I was wondering..."  
  
Severus POV  
  
'You've got to be kidding me.' I said and narrowed my eyes as the  
  
raven haired baby crawled up to Lily who was now eyeing me carefully.  
  
"Oh for Merlin's Sake! Spit it out woman!" I snapped and she jumped.  
  
"Severus, I need you to baby sit Harry for me for a week or so while  
  
me and James, as well as Remus and Sirius go out for a trip." she  
  
rushed out and for a second I thought I'd imagined it because next  
  
second she was cradling her baby.  
  
'Baby sit? That little brat, don't know who'd kill who first.'  
  
"Lily, I don't think-" I started but she suddenly thrust Harry into  
  
my arms as I stood up to turn her down.  
  
The way he looked at me, those emerald eyes glinting with happiness,  
  
or mischief. What was I about to do?  
  
He laughed and I snorted in bemusement then looked up and caught  
  
Lily's eyes. 'Honestly, you're going to hate yourself if you do this..'  
  
'Yes, I know that.'  
  
"I...alright." I said and mentally cursed myself out for agreeing to  
  
this. 'I can just smell disaster.'  
  
Suddenly he heard voices coming down the drive, loud laughter.  
  
'Speaking of the devils..' I smirked to myself.  
  
Lily's POV  
  
"Lily! I'm home you'll never..." James Potter trailed of and stared  
  
at the man who was calmly holding his son with one hand and sipping  
  
tea with the other.  
  
Wincing I waited for the explosion to come and I wasn't  
  
disappointed. "WHAT IS THAT SCUM SUCKING WEASEL DOING IN MY HOUSE!  
  
Why aren't you off washing your hair, you greasy slime ball? In my  
  
house! With my wife AND MY CHILD! Can't believe you would."  
  
'And meanwhile in my other ear which isn't occupied with hearing my  
  
ranting husband I am listening to my ranting husband's best friend.'  
  
"Dirty rotten slime ball. That stinkin' bloody ba-"  
  
"SIRIUS BLACK, JAMES POTTER!" the red haired witch loomed ominously  
  
over them. Grabbing the baby bottle off the counter I shook it at  
  
them.  
  
"Severus is taking care of Harry for us while we-"  
  
"That, THAT THING IS NOT BABY SITTIN-"  
  
WAMP!  
  
"No problem Severus. Nice of you to take the job." James let out a  
  
pathetic sound and I glared at him and Sirius until they left the  
  
kitchen. Remus, who had been strangely silent up till then, smiled  
  
and held out his hand.  
  
"Nice to see you again Severus."  
  
Severus's POV  
  
Glaring after James and his sidekick I put the cup of tea down and  
  
stared at Remus evilly for a second, as if considering-  
  
"Severus, be nice." Lily muttered softly so only I could hear as if  
  
reading my mind and I rolled my eyes.  
  
"So, nice to see you again to, Remus." I said only slightly hiding the  
  
icy retort I had planned as I shook his hand.  
  
Lily's POV  
  
I was glad that he was controlling his mouth for at least the time  
  
being. "So, Remus..." I said trying to break the tense silence that  
  
had suddenly taken over in the room, till I heard a roar of laughter  
  
from the den and vowed to make James regret whatever it was he was  
  
planning, or saying.  
  
I noticed a growing agitation in Severus's movements so I moved on  
  
impulse and took Harry from him and he seemed greatly relieved.  
  
"Remus, would you take Harry into the den with James and Sirius  
  
please? And tell them to either shut up, or keep it down." I said as  
  
I gave Harry the bottle that I was still holding in my hand from  
  
hitting James with it.  
  
"Sure Li." he said and gave Severus a strange, but pleasant look as I  
  
handed a now happily drinking Harry over to him and he left.  
  
"Severus I'm sorry about-" I started only to get cut off.  
  
Severus's POV  
  
"Why should you apologize for what they say, you think I've been  
  
insulted by them?" I said coolly and she got a thoughtful look.  
  
"However..." a hint of amusement entered my voice as I finished my  
  
thought."I am much obliged for your ahem-admonishment, but you  
  
shouldn't have gone through the trouble." and with that, and a curt nod I set out the door.  
  
"Remember what I said about the potion, I do believe you remember  
  
you're skills...?" I said and slid out the door leaving her looking  
  
silently after me.  
  
Lily's POV  
  
A week later Severus was sitting patiently on our couch watching  
  
Harry out of the corner of his eyes. Grinning I watched his face  
  
become paler the more instructions I told him.  
  
James was sitting staring at him with a delightfully mischievous  
  
expression. "Don't forget that the bottle has to be tested before it  
  
is given to him. Just take a drink shouldn't bother you much you're  
  
such a big baby."  
  
"James Michael Lawrence Potter! The kissing ban is now instated!"  
  
"What!"  
  
"Thank you for watching Harry, Severus. I hope he won't be too much  
  
trouble for you."  
  
"Not at all. Not at all. I'm just afraid he'll miss his DEER father  
  
and mother."  
  
"If any thing goes wrong you can call us or Dumbledore." I almost  
  
started to laugh at James face but stopped myself just in time. I  
  
walked over to Severus and gave his hand a slight pat. I picked up  
  
Harry and gave him a kiss before hugging him tightly to me.  
  
"Be good Harry. Love you."  
  
Setting him back down I flounced off just as Severus stood up and  
  
waited for James to get his say in.  
  
Severus's POV  
  
I watched as Potter glared at me contemptuously as if wondering  
  
whether to trust me with his 'precious child' or to rip my head off  
  
right now and say it was an accident.  
  
'Honestly honey, it was a mistake, must not know my own strength.'  
  
"Severus, I-" James stopped when Sirius looked out as Lily had gone  
  
out of earshot.  
  
"Look Snape, I don't like you, I don't trust you, I don't want you  
  
near my Godson, in fact, I could care less what Lily thinks at this  
  
point, but she's not here to defend you. Of course, why in the world  
  
she would want to is beyond me. Let me tell you something you slimy  
  
Ba-"  
  
I held out a hand to shut him up. "Ohhh, let me turn on the part of  
  
my brain that gives a damn." I said silkily and they both glared at  
  
me evilly. "Continue with your verbiage... gentlemen.." (Verbiage being  
  
a term for idiotic talk.)  
  
"Lay one finger on him, I swear, just one and you'll regret the day  
  
you were born into this world Severus Snape." James threatened.  
  
"What? No polite thank you's, no 'there's snacks' in the fridge..'?"  
  
I asked sarcastically.  
  
"If you two don't get out here now I swear Remus and I'll leave you  
  
behind! And LOCK YOU IN THE HOUSE WITH HIM!" Lily's threat came and I  
  
watched in well hidden amusement and their faces showed obvious  
  
disgust.  
  
"Coming dear!" they said in Unison, shot me equally snide looks, both  
  
passed Harry around for one more round of goodbyes then left,  
  
obviously in mutinous terms.  
  
"And good riddance to you too.." I muttered before noticing the raven  
  
haired baby just looking at me quizzically. "Oh, what are you looking  
  
at." I asked in annoyance.  
  
Severus POV  
  
I watched the baby gurgle at me with wide eyes. Then it happened the  
  
most terrible thing the kid could have done. The thing his father  
  
would have done if he would have been in the same situation.  
  
He screamed.  
  
  
  
Lily's POV  
  
"Come on Lily everything will be fine. Though I think leaving him  
  
with a pack of Dementors would have been safer."  
  
I stared at James with a hateful glance and turned all my attention  
  
to Remus. James made a sound deep in his throat and stared out the  
  
window of the flying carriage that would take them to their final  
  
destination.  
  
I glared at him and at Sirius, who was busy trying to make a Snape  
  
Voo Doo doll, out of the corner of my eye. Grabbing the doll away from Sirius I slipped out Snape's hair and threw both hair and doll out the window.  
  
"Nice try."  
  
Severus's POV  
  
Honestly! The one thing this kid HAD to inherit from his father was  
  
his innate ability to cause more trouble, by just opening his mouth.  
  
I rushed to pick him up, if only it would shut him, and strangely  
  
enough it worked. He stared at me benevolently and blinked. I stared darkly at him, moved to the couch again, setting him down by a bunch of toys. Silence. It was a good thing.  
  
'...However, a 6 month old that was silent. can never be a good  
  
sign.'  
  
Looking around I saw that, he was gone. "Oh. for Pete's sake." I  
  
muttered and peered into the kitchen area. Empty.  
  
"How far can a 6 month old get in this blasted house?" I muttered  
  
murderously and for some reason climbed the stairs to one of the  
  
rooms, in peering in I saw a sight that, caused me to choke back a  
  
laugh, and made it hard to keep my usual manner.  
  
"Potter..." I smirked as the baby had somehow managed to get a hold  
  
of one his mothers magical face cream's, as well as another, and it  
  
was having a rather interesting affect.  
  
"Oh, I really do not think that your parents would appreciate having  
  
a son that had green and red hair and a body to match." I said and  
  
made my way over to him, as he laughed up and with surprising luck,  
  
flung some of it at my face and hit dead center.  
  
"Go-" I stopped and whipped the goop out of my face and picked up  
  
the messy infant and he just laughed at me.  
  
"You, stop laughing." I said sharply and he stopped, as if regarding  
  
me before laughing again, in that high pitched baby shriek.  
  
"Oh Lilian Potter, you owe me." I muttered as he took another swipe  
  
at me with his hand.  
  
'Yuck.' I started for the bathroom the baby as far away from me as  
  
possible. Harry didn't seem to like that much though and began to  
  
fidget.  
  
I carefully placed him in the bath tub after striping him of the,  
  
ugly, red nighty. Bringing out my wand I filled the bath full of  
  
warm sudsy water. And looked down at the boy which was happily in  
  
the process of soaking me.  
  
"Potter. You are no doubt your father's son."  
  
Shaking my head I lifted the little boy out and onto a towel drying  
  
him quickly. I reach over and grabbed the Diaper off his changing  
  
table and that's what officially decided that this was going to be  
  
the worse week of my life.  
  
The little... Potter decided to relieve his bladder, over me.  
  
I let out a short tempered curse and he did nothing but laugh. I  
  
glared at him evilly. "You little.." he muttered and then cleaned  
  
himself up, after of course closing the door, getting the diaper ON  
  
the blasted child and then making sure he was still in the room when  
  
I opened the door again.  
  
"Now, shall we attempt lunch time, or toys for the time being in your  
  
room..." I asked when I picked up Harry and settled him in my arms,  
  
but who just looked at me and gurgled. "Well since I really don't  
  
feel like having to go through that whole ordeal again anytime soon,  
  
let's put you in that. play pin that your mother got from Hogsmeade  
  
and then I'll clean up that bloody mess you made in her room.." I  
  
said and did just that. Then returned to find Harry playing quietly  
  
with something in the play pin.  
  
"What could hold your attention Potter..." I wondered till I saw the  
  
toy broom hovering about 8 inches off the ground.  
  
"What the, Merlin's Beard! Get off that thing right now, I will not be  
  
responsible for you cracking your head open." I almost yelled and  
  
picked Harry up hurriedly and grab a few other toys and brought him  
  
into the living room.  
  
"Now, can you stay put for a few minutes, maybe even-dare I say it?  
  
An hour?" and was rewarded with a toy ball bouncing off my head.  
  
I watched Harry sit and quietly play with a teddy bear nearly as big  
  
as him. Watching him carefully I collapsed on the couch tired  
  
already. As I sat there Harry sat staring at him reproachfully.  
  
Rolling my eyes I bent down and picked him up settling him against  
  
my side with his bear. Immediately he closed his eyes snuggling  
  
close to me.  
  
I watched Harry sit and quietly play with a teddy bear nearly as big  
  
as him. Watching him carefully I collapsed on the couch tired  
  
already. As I sat there Harry sat staring at him reproachfully.  
  
Rolling my eyes I bent down and picked him up settling him against  
  
my side with his bear. Immediately he closed his eyes snuggling  
  
close to me.  
  
After what seemed like a 2 minute nap (which was almost exactly an  
  
hour.) I woke up to see Harry with an odd expression on his face.  
  
But before I could come to the conclusion myself he started to cry.  
  
I swear he's that loud on purpose.  
  
"Alright, Alright! I know what you want Potter, you don't have to  
  
burst your lungs." I muttered and picked him up and took him into  
  
the kitchen trying to remember what it was Lily had said to me about  
  
feeding him.  
  
Unfortunately I remembered, and it turned into a rather interesting  
  
time. I believe three quarters of the baby food landed on me instead of in his mouth but, I believe that was how the child intended it.  
  
Soon enough, after we'd both had our fill of food, we again went  
  
through the blasted bathing process, I hope, he was  
  
settled enough to attempt to put him to bed.  
  
Sadly I learned the hard way he wasn't. The moment I set him in his  
  
crib he started to scream. I picked him up and he stopped looking at  
  
me innocently.  
  
Slowly, very slowly, I lowered him down into the crib. Again loud  
  
screaming ensued. Giving up on putting him to bed I put him on the  
  
floor with a few toys. Again he screamed. Picking him up I looked  
  
around for anything to help. 'Maybe I can get him to sleep if I put  
  
him on the guest bed next to me with a few toys.'  
  
Walking to the room I sat him down and watched as he began to play  
  
happily. Smiling I closed my eyes, after I had put every possible  
  
spell I could think of around the bed.  
  
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
As soon as my eyes closed a scream echoed and I jumped up to see him  
  
laughing happily, and quietly. Giving him a suspicious look I lay  
  
back down and again started to close my eyes.  
  
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
I opened my eyes and looked at the boy who smiled smugly. Giving  
  
the boy a look I decided to test this. I closed my eyes and sprung  
  
them back open in time to see his mouth slam shut.  
  
"If I didn't know any better I swear you were trained." I muttered  
  
to the boy realizing that I would not be getting to sleep until the  
  
boy did. Sadly, I had the feeling this boy could do with out sleep  
  
for a long time.  
  
  
  
Ms. Prongs and Ms. Padfoot (Wyltk) 


End file.
